Why finding support during pregnancy, for birth and into the 4th Trimester is important.
We all have a different relationship with our journey to motherhood; some mothers I speak with are super anxious about the pregnancy, some are more anxious about the birth and how their life will change afterwards. Others feel okay with changes and the unknown and for some they are in complete denial. We all mother differently but one thing is for sure, when a mother or mother-to-be feels supported it allows them to go through whatever emotions they are experiencing with more ease.
Most mothers rely on their partners during their pregnancy, for the birth and into the 4th Trimester, and while they can offer some help our expectation of how they need to support is often unfair. We are asking them to provide support at the level we require when they have never done this before. That is like expecting a wall to be painted well, by someone who has never painted before; some people may have a natural gift for painting but others will be tested and tried in the process.
This is when a doula, family member or friend that is rehearsed in the process of pregnancy, birth and the 4th Trimester can be a great support and guide. They can be a great sounding board for when problems arise and can help you feel reassured when you and your partner make decisions around baby and you. When finding a support person, actively seek out one or two people who are happy and have the time to provide support for you and your partner. It is really important that you feel supported in your health beliefs and the way in which you would like to birth and care for your newborn. If you don’t feel you are aligned in these areas, you should seek out someone who does make you feel supported and confident to make important decisions.
It is also very common for mothers to underestimate the level of support that is required during the 4th Trimester, or to think that they will find extra help if needed at the time. However, one thing about birthing is you are stepping into the unknown. This is a normal process and the opportunity for growth and expansion always comes with the unknown.
Although part of birthing is letting go and it is so much easier to let go when we know that there is support there to catch us. So setting up a support system beforehand offers a greater chance for enjoyment into the journey of motherhood.